It’s that time of year again when all the gyms are getting packed. By the time 5 p.m. rolls around, you can’t even find a parking spot. All the “New Year’s Resolution” ladies may have fallen off, but the second waves of fair-weather trainers are coming out the wood work. You know who they are, they are the women that have been eating pot roast, Now & Laters, and donuts all during the winter, and are finally deciding to work out, because it’s warming up outside.
Even though they are in the way of the real trainers, I actually think that it is commendable for women to work towards their physical fitness goals, even if they start too late. I mean, what woman wants to show off her “thankles” in a bikini looking like a high school cafeteria lady. You don’t want to be called Kim “Kar-fat-agains” all summer.
(“Thankles” are when your fat thighs, calves, and ankles are the same size all the way down your leg.)
What I hate is that, instead of joining curves, or doing P90X, or something like that, some women prefer to deceive people by buying into all these gimmicks and contraptions under their clothes. Some women are wearing more gear than Iron-Man.
I know that there are all types of mechanisms out there to hide being out of shape or over weight. I think it is ridiculous. I have seen women with a “booty-do” on Monday, and then on Tuesday, show up to work with a flat stomach and a curvaceous body. So we thought….
(“Booty do” when your stomach sticks out further than your booty do)
It’s wrong to mislead the bruhs’ like that. Women are looking all fine with a coke bottle shape and then when a guy takes you home it all falls out like Buddy Love turning back into Sherman Klump on The Nutty Professor. Do some crunches, walk on the treadmill, or buy some roller skates….something. Why live a lie?
The problem is that, as usual, most of the ladies wait until the last minute to try to get right. You can’t get a body like Stacy Dash overnight, it takes hard work. I hear women in the gym talking to each other everyday, talking about, “Girl, I’m gonna be sexy for “The Essence” (Music Festival).” That’s wack. How about saying, “Girl, I’m gonna be sexy…period.”
Women try to lose weight for events. They go hard for major life proceedings like weddings, vacations, birthday parties, and marital affairs. What they don’t realize is that losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight and shape is a year-round lifestyle change, and once you get to the size you want, maintaining it is easy.
The problem is they want a quick fix. They are not willing to put in the work. Some women are trading in the ab-roller for a tummy tuck.
Now I know that there are some women who have surgery for medical reasons, but there are some that have it for plain ole lazy reasons. I hear women say all the time that they are getting a tummy tuck and having gastric bypass surgeries. Then right after the surgery, they gain all the weight back. Some people don’t realize that you still have to work out. They go right back to eating hotdogs, marshmallows and gravy, without doing so much as a jumping-jack.
Have you seen what the gastric bypass procedure looks like?
Now I know that there are some beautiful women both big and small dedicated to healthy living and overall body maintenance. This article is directed to the slackers that are trying to skate the system and deceive us men. While it is my goal is to keep it real, I don’t want to just bash the ladies. I just want to shed light on a sensitive topic and also uplift my sisters by encouraging healthier living.
So instead of wearing push up bras, girdles, body shapers and leg-warmers, here are some tips to jumpstart your healthy lifestyle and improve your body’s appearance:
1. Set realistic expectations.
Don’t try to get built like Melissa Ford when you to look like a Ford Explorer. Set a more realistic goal. Weigh and measure yourself, then set short incremental weight loss goals. Unless you are smoking crack, you won’t drop 80 pounds in a month.
2. Take some workout classes.
Now I know that we are in a recession. Everybody can’t afford to pay for a trainer. I also know that everyone’s schedule does not permit them to attend formal aerobics classes. What you can do is buy some workout DVD’s. Programs like P90X might be too much for you, but I am sure there are some less expensive, but effective workout videos out there.
3. Don’t try all these gimmick diets and phony workout toys.
Although you may find pleasure in using this, it’s not really effective workout equipment.
4. Go with your man to the Gym.
This will help you three-fold. (1) You will have someone to push you and support your effort (2) It will make your relationship better. More quality time and (3) Your man can’t cheat on you with gym freaks anymore.
Now get out there and work out!!