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The New Years…..Revolution

 

Five, four, three, two, one…..HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Its 2010, celebrate at the party with all your friends, pop the fire-works, do the stanky leg with your cousins, and finish the last of the liquor. Let’s end the decade with a bang! You’ve worked hard all year, endured some drama, and survived a depression. You deserve to get loose. (Singing Jay-Z) On to the next one! On to the next one!

The New Year has rolled around and you are excited about all of the new possibilities that the New Year has to offer. Just like Tevin Campbell said in his song Tomorrow: “To-morrow will bring, a bet-ter you, a better, meeeee! To-gether, we’ll show this world, we got more we could beeeee!”

(Record Scratches) But now what? It’s 2010 and just like you do every single year, you make up some “New Year” resolution that you cannot live up to. I know, because I have done it too.

 I used to always say that I was going to stop cursing, but shiiiiiiiiiit! (See what I mean?)

I know what you are thinking, the New Year is suppose to be a new beginning and you want to start things off on the right foot and yada, yada, yada; In some families it is a tradition and yada , yada,  yada…

However, how many times have you said, “I’m going to start working out this year?” Then you buy a membership to The French Riviera Spa and spandex outfits like Sherman Klump did on the Nutty Professor and you get all your friends to join you in your new workout regimen. You go strong for about a week and then your group of 300 Spartans dwindles back down to the 3 Little Pigs. After about two weeks, it’s back to Popeyes and Krispy-Kreme donuts.

I have also heard people say, “I am going to spend more time with my family.” You start off good and spend Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday with them, and then you don’t see them again until Thanksgiving. The only time you might see them in between holidays is if they let you claim lil’ Man-Man on your taxes and you feel guilty about not letting them come over and spend the night.

At this very moment, someone is declaring that they are going to start their own business…….Right now; someone is changing their mind and pushing it back to NEXT year, “Grand Opening Grand Closing!”

New Years resolutions put too much pressure on people. It’s hard to quit bad habits cold turkey. You set yourself up for failure by making an annual declaration to the world that you are going to stop or start doing something that you could not do the entire year before. All of a sudden, just because it’s January, you’re going to stop smoking weed? Okay Cheech and Chong. How can you give up drinking with Mardi Gras just around the corner? You say you’re going do better with your money, but the new 2010 Maxima just came out. You know you gots to have it!

It’s also hard to make life-changing decisions in January. The kids are still in school, so you can’t move. Nobody is hiring, so you can’t get a new job. You did not get your income taxes yet, so you can’t buy that house and get the Obama tax credit, and there is no way in hell you are going to the gym everyday in this cold ass weather.  

I propose a new approach; we are going to call it the “New Years Revolution.”  Everyone should do the same old stuff they have been doing since 2009, and start weaning themselves into their resolutions around March. That way, you miss the failure slump that most new years changes bring. This will give you some time to plan a little bit better.

This January 1st deadline is unrealistic. You need time to gradually pull away…It’s vital to the success of your Revolution.

You can do it, just not today…

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Witness the Longest Basketball Shot Ever!!!

I actually made a really cool basketball shot once. In a close game during college intramurals at the University of New Orleans , My team was down by 2 points, and I stole the ball with 1 second left on the clock and threw up a full-court underhand shot backwards, falling down, with one sock on, wearing Chuck Taylors without shoelaces, and a patch over my right eye, that went in at the buzzer for the win. I was not able to record it though, so I decided to show another cool shot. Do you remember the McDonalds commerical when Larry Bird and Michael Jordan was playing horse in the basketball arena? Well, Larry bird aint got nothing on this shot.

Check it out.

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Swine Flu? What Ever Happened to the Bird Flu?

Who Wants Bacon Now?

Who Wants Bacon Now?

It’s that time of year again and everyone is trying to rush out and get their flu shots in the hopes of not getting the swine flu. Oh lord, not the swine flu, what I’zz gone do? Let me tell you all something, if you trippin about the swine flu, you are buggin. I have been eating pork my whole life and I aint never heard of nobody dying from a pig cold. The flu is a contagious respiratory illness caused by influenza viruses. It can cause mild to severe illness, and at times can lead to death.

Did you know that over 36,000 people die every year from the human (regular) flu and flu-like symptoms according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). So why is that not a pandemic? About 200-250 cases pop up in the U.S., then all of a sudden, we about to quarantine cities like we’re in the “I am Legend” movie.

Another thing, what ever happened to the bird flu that was suppose to kill us all? Popeyes and KFC stock went down $2,000,000 when that news came out. They even did a movie on NBC to scare the shit out of everybody. When it did not work, they said, “We need to come up with a new flu.” Now you got the swine flu and all of a sudden a vaccine will be available just in time to go on sale before the flu season. That’s like a person selling you tires right after their poke all your wheels with an ice pick. Then the vaccine won’t even work. How many people you know with the flu shot end up at home with the flu? If the scientist can make a swine flu vaccine in a few months, why don’t we have an AIDS vaccine? And you know how many side effects the swine flu vaccine will have: May cause drowsiness, headaches, bleeding from your anus, chapped lips, and pink eye.

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Well I am about to beat them to the punch. When the swine flu don’t work, the next animal in line is dogs. That’s right, the H1K9 flu is coming. Mark my words, people are gonna be dropping dead from the Scooby-flu. I am going to start working on a dog flu vaccine for 2010. I’ll get Snoop to endorse it for me. “Get you Vaccizzle before you Dizzle from the dog Flizzle Nizzle.” You know a lot of people don’t like needles, so we are going to have this vaccine in rolled into flu blunts and vaccine blow pops for kids.

Seriously though, this is what you need to do to help reduce your chances of getting the flu:

• Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.

• Wash your hands often with soap and water. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol-based hand rub.

• Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth. Germs spread this way.

• Try to avoid close contact with sick people.

• If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.)

• While sick, limit contact with others as much as possible to keep from infecting them.

• Follow public health advice regarding school closures, avoiding crowds and other measures to keep our distance from each other to lessen the spread of flu.

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MUSIC Review: Jay Z’s Blueprint 3

Is it Jigga or Sean Carter?

Is it Jigga or Sean Carter?

We all know that expectations for high for ya boy Hovie Hov for the Blueprint 3. Anything less than a #1 debut and platinum in a month and this album will b a certified flop by his critics. (haters) 

With the success of the original, which was a classic, some may have thought that he would have went back to the old formula, but he did not which I was personally glad about.

What Jigga was able to do with this album was push the envelope for creativity a little and hopefully the younger artist will at least be open to writing some better content. While I don’t get jiggy with all of the tracks on this CD, Jay definitely delivers on content and lyrics. D.O.A., Off That, On to the Next One, and the Intro track, to me are the best joints. Swiss beats and No I.D. come through, but Kanye and Timbo gave him some bull crap for tracks. Kanye is setting Jay up for a Takeover of his own. He got a tighter chick in “Light Bulb head” as I like to call her, plus he ripped Jay Z on Run this Town, and he turned out Jay’s concert in NYC. Jay still the man right now, but Kanye might be about to okey-doke him.

Kanye & Sexy Light Bulb

Kanye & Sexy Light Bulb

Anyway, If you are able to listen to music, instead of skimming through it for catchy hooks and disses to talk about at school/work, etc. you will be pleasantly refreshed by Jay’s delivery. One criticism though, we know Jay is a great rapper, but let us put you in the hall of fame. He does not have to tell us he should be there, shucks, we see him. Between the Nets, 40/40, Rocawear, Roc Nation, Beyonce, hanging with Lebron, hanging with Oprah, etc. we get it dog. We just want you to do your thing on the mic.

I also would like to point out for the bootleggers and the bootleg buyers, the CD was only 9.99 at Best Buy. So for only 5 bucks more, you get the real CD and the lyrics, yes lyrics!!

I would definitely recommend buying this CD and putting it in rotation. There is some nice riding, partying and good vibe music. If you want to listen to some dope boy ish, just buy his American Gangster CD. Most people are sleeping on it anyway.

Overall I give it four out of five mics. I took one away for the whack tracks and horrific song #12 with Kanye.

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Hello world! Just Press Scott Debut and Chris Brown PR Advice

Behold Semi, Life! Real Life!

Behold Semi, Life! Real Life!

In the words of Hakeem, the royal prince and sole heir to the throne of Zamunda, “I am very happy to be here!!”

My only goal with starting my own blog, is to share my thoughts and opinions about  the things that are going on around us in this crazy world we live in. I do believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Haters are welcome.

You gotta love being an American, 1st Amendment baby!! We can say whatever we want!  And if you don’t like it, you can take the 2nd Amendment and shoot your pinky toe off.  (joking) But you can kiss my ass…-umptions are usually wrong when you don’t do your homework, so just read it before you judge it. Whatever you want to know, “Just Press Scott!”

Stay Tuned, because it is on and poppin!! I am going to be hitting this blog harder than Chris Brown in a Lamborghini ride down Sunset Blvd. (I know) but, shout out to Chris Brown!

Is your man, on the floor!

Is your man, on the floor!

RANT TO CHRIS BROWN: Look man, i hope somebody that I know refers you to my blog so that you can read this. Dude, I love your music and I have been in and out of the doctors office trying to perfect that elbow stand that you did in ‘Stomp the Yard.’

With that said, you got talent, you are better than the 99% of the cats in your genre, but you have a major PR problem. Might I add that the Larry King interview and the apology you made in the zesty sweater did not help your cause.

This is what you need to do bruh, just tell the whole story to the public on the biggest media stages you can. Tell everybody about the argument (She said you could not dance or something), why you washed her up (she might have hit you first?), that you are sorry and you want to move on with your career. People not gonna leave you alone until you do. With all of your success, you don’t wanna be known as Ike Jr. Be as blunt and descriptive as possible, give details about the incident that has not been all over the news. (People will believe you more) Not everyone will forgive you (granted), but at least it will be done with. Michael Vick fought dogs, went to jail, told everything on Dateline and now his situation is dying down. Write it in a song and do the Confessions thing like Usher. Get Rihanna to do a track with you via satellite. Anything will be better than that song she did with JayZ and Kanye on the Blueprint 3 (LOL) .  Add it to your graffiti album. Love hurts, sometimes literally……Stay up playa…..

Anyway, people sorry about the rant, but I will do that from time to time…

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