Category Archives: Medical

Got a Weight Problem Ladies? ….Well Work Out Then!

It’s that time of year again when all the gyms are getting packed. By the time 5 p.m. rolls around, you can’t even find a parking spot. All the “New Year’s Resolution” ladies may have fallen off, but the second waves of fair-weather trainers are coming out the wood work. You know who they are, they are the women that have been eating pot roast, Now & Laters, and donuts all during the winter, and are finally deciding to work out, because it’s warming up outside.

Even though they are in the way of the real trainers, I actually think that it is commendable for women to work towards their physical fitness goals, even if they start too late. I mean, what woman wants to show off her “thankles” in a bikini looking like a high school cafeteria lady. You don’t want to be called Kim “Kar-fat-agains” all summer.

 (“Thankles” are when your fat thighs, calves, and ankles are the same size all the way down your leg.)

What I hate is that, instead of joining curves, or doing P90X, or something like that, some women prefer to deceive people by buying into all these gimmicks and contraptions under their clothes.  Some women are wearing more gear than Iron-Man.

I know that there are all types of mechanisms out there to hide being out of shape or over weight. I think it is ridiculous. I have seen women with a “booty-do” on Monday, and then on Tuesday, show up to work with a flat stomach and a curvaceous body. So we thought….

(“Booty do” when your stomach sticks out further than your booty do)

It’s wrong to mislead the bruhs’ like that. Women are looking all fine with a coke bottle shape and then when a guy takes you home it all falls out like Buddy Love turning back into Sherman Klump on The Nutty Professor. Do some crunches, walk on the treadmill, or buy some roller skates….something. Why live a lie?

The problem is that, as usual, most of the ladies wait until the last minute to try to get right. You can’t get a body like Stacy Dash overnight, it takes hard work. I hear women in the gym talking to each other everyday, talking about, “Girl, I’m gonna be sexy for “The Essence” (Music Festival).” That’s wack. How about saying, “Girl, I’m gonna be sexy…period.”

Women try to lose weight for events. They go hard for major life proceedings like weddings, vacations, birthday parties, and marital affairs. What they don’t realize is that losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight and shape is a year-round lifestyle change, and once you get to the size you want, maintaining it is easy.

The problem is they want a quick fix. They are not willing to put in the work.  Some women are trading in the ab-roller for a tummy tuck.

Now I know that there are some women who have surgery for medical reasons, but there are some that have it for plain ole lazy reasons. I hear women say all the time that they are getting a tummy tuck and having gastric bypass surgeries. Then right after the surgery, they gain all the weight back. Some people don’t realize that you still have to work out. They go right back to eating hotdogs, marshmallows and gravy, without doing so much as a jumping-jack.

Have you seen what the gastric bypass procedure looks like?

Now I know that there are some beautiful women both big and small dedicated to healthy living and overall body maintenance. This article is directed to the slackers that are trying to skate the system and deceive us men. While it is my goal is to keep it real, I don’t want to just bash the ladies. I just want to shed light on a sensitive topic and also uplift my sisters by encouraging healthier living.

So instead of wearing push up bras, girdles, body shapers and leg-warmers, here are some tips to jumpstart your healthy lifestyle and improve your body’s appearance:

1. Set realistic expectations.

Don’t try to get built like Melissa Ford when you to look like a Ford Explorer. Set a more realistic goal. Weigh and measure yourself, then set short incremental weight loss goals. Unless you are smoking crack, you won’t drop 80 pounds in a month.

2. Take some workout classes.

Now I know that we are in a recession. Everybody can’t afford to pay for a trainer. I also know that everyone’s schedule does not permit them to attend formal aerobics classes. What you can do is buy some workout DVD’s. Programs like P90X might be too much for you, but I am sure there are some less expensive, but effective workout videos out there.

3. Don’t try all these gimmick diets and phony workout toys.

Although you may find pleasure in using this, it’s not really effective workout equipment.

4. Go with your man to the Gym.

This will help you three-fold. (1) You will have someone to push you and support your effort (2) It will make your relationship better. More quality time and (3) Your man can’t cheat on you with gym freaks anymore.

Now get out there and work out!!

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Filed under Celebrity News, Medical, new orleans, Opinion, Relationships

Baby Thugs Gone Wild

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A 16 year-old kid named Derrion Albert was beaten to death in Chicago this week and it was captured on video tape for the world to see the epitome of ignorance plaguing our community. I did not blog on it sooner, because I needed to cool off a little, before I wrote something that I might regret later. But this black on black violence thing is getting old. Barack wants Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics; Chicago need to be hosting a gospel revival and a G.E.D. program.

Three teens arrested in the young man’s death — Silvanus Shannon, 19; Eric Carson, 16; and Eugene Riley, 18 — were seen on the videotape attacking Albert, and were charged with first degree murder and held without bail, Simonton said. Monday night authorities said they charged a fourth suspect, 17-year-old Eugene Bailey, with murder.

The entire incident was captured on video and the person who taped it had the nerve to put it on YouTube. Seriously, is it even legal for someone to film a crime and post it on the internet? Can I film someone stealing a car or robbing a bank and post it on Facebook. I think that is ridiculous. If you are video taping the crime, it means that you were obviously around during the time of the crime, so that means that you could have done something that may have saved the young man’s life. Stop filming with your camera phone and dial 9-1-1.

I really feel bad for the mother. She had to watch her son be murdered, and watch all those people standing around doing nothing. I even saw adults passing in cars on the street where the fight was taking place. I am not saying that they should have jumped in the scuffle, but call the police, blow your horn, flash your lights, do donuts in the intersection….do SOMETHING. What if it was your kid out there getting beat down with pipes and sticks, wouldn’t’ you want someone to help your kid? The only good that came from taping it, is that the prosecutors will have more concrete evidence on his killers.

So you got one black youth dead, and three going to the State Pen instead of Penn. State. And the cycle continues.

To make matters worse, Fox News was using the footage to report on the story. Although the goons that were out there fighting, clearly don’t’ represent all the youth in Chicago, they were making us all look really bad. You would think that having an African American man win the United States Presidential Election, thing would be a little better.

A lot of the youngsters today are out of control. They are not scared of anything and don’t value anthing. I am not saying al of our kids are losers, but there is a good amount of them that are. Just like Joe Clark said in Lean on Me, “They say one bad apple spoils a bunch…but what about 200?” 

In the video, these kids looked like savages on a deserted island fighting for their lives. The problem is that they are not fighting for the right things. Here’s a thought, why not fight for better schools, better after school programs, parenting classes, trade programs. Why not learn how to box and get paid to fight? Why not join the Marines and you can carry your gun around every time you go out.

Our future is not looking very bright if these kids are going to be running things. I am about to get those Rosetta Stone CDs and learn to how to speak French. I’m moving my family to France. The only thing I will have to worry about is running out of butter for my croissants.

The other question I have is where are all the African American celebrities and athletes at? Jay Z was all over the country promoting the Blueprint 3, Oprah was chillin’ with him in Marcy projects. (She had 900 police officers and the S.W.A.T. team with her).

She can go all the way to Africa and start a school, she can “speak out” against Chris Brown for washing up Rihanna, but something this major happens in Chicago where Harpo Studios her beloved studio is, and she hasn’t come out to say anything. I am bashing Oprah as a person, or telling her what to do, I am just saying that my hope is that people like her would take this opportunity to help uplift our people. Here is a great time to use your influence to help the community. I wish Oprah could channel “Sophia” from the Color Purple and go off!

There is nothing wrong with Alicia Keys going help the women in Africa fight AIDS and oppression, but we got some serious problems on the home front.

Where is Kanye West with his big mouth? He usually always has something to say.

Diddy tweets about nonsense all day. He tweets about taking a crap, he couldn’t tweet “Stop the Violence” or something? Maybe we need to get Dr. Dre to produce a “Self Destruction” video or “We All in the Same Gang” video. Maybe that would help.

What can we do as a whole? For starters, we can try to unify as a community to try to take back the streets. Go out and talk to some kids, help mobilize the community to work toward curbing the violence. Talk to our own kids; explain to them that what they hear on the radio and see on T.V. is not real. We also need to start talking to them earlier about life and what’s going on in the world. Let them know that there is a whole world outside of the hood. Let them know that keeping real is a lie. Bring them to church, bring them to school, and listen to what their problems are.

The most important thing for us is to do after all that is be consistent. Don’t try to be the president of the “Big Brother Program” every time something bad happens. Do it while Pookie chilln’ on your couch playing Madden. We have got to get involved.

I remember that episode of Good Times when they tried to make J.J. join the Satan’s Knights and go to a gang fight. James Evans Sr. stepped in and at least tried to help his son. J.J. still got a cap busted in his ass, but at least they tried.

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Filed under Celebrity News, Hip Hop, Medical, new orleans, nfl, Opinion, Politics

Killer on the Loose! Oh Wait….We Got Him

He looks like he killed somebody.

He looks like he killed somebody.

Legally insane schizophrenic killer, Phillip Paul was recaptured recently after a three day manhunt to find him after he escaped from authorities while on a field trip at the state fair in Spokane, Washington. The police said that he had been planning his escape for months.

There are so many things wrong with this story, but I will just state the obvious. “Why the hell is Son of Sam going on a field trip to the state fair?” Then of all places to take him, you bring him to the state fair to be around naïve kids and senior citizens who can’t run. That is like on the movie “New Jack City” when G-Money hired Pookie (crack-head) to work in the drug store in the Carter. It was too much. The crack was talking to him. Some things you just shouldn’t do.

 (See Pookie in the video below)

They treated him like he was in one of those Special Ed. classes when they load up the short yellow bus and all the kids are strapped down wearing helmets. Then they all get off the bus and hold hands as they all walk around the fair. They get to skip lines and eat all the cotton candy they want. Everybody in the fair is made aware of their arrival and departure.

One thing that was disturbing is that they never said that the people in the fair knew he was at the fair or that he escaped. The police even reported that some fool gave him a ride.

For real, just imagine for a moment being at your fair just chillin’ minding your own business and you get on a Ferris-wheel and they stick Hannibal Lector in the same cart with you. You don’t know he’s Charles Manson’s cousin until you both get to the top and the ride stops to let other people on. Then tells you he ate his grand-parents with some fava beans and a nice Chyanti. Then what?

(See Hannibal Lector in the video below)

The second thing is who authorized this field trip from hell? Who ever they are, they need to be fired…. twice. I bet this dumb ass was like, “Hmmm, Phillip has not killed anyone in months; He does not stabbed the doctors anymore, let’s take him outside to a fair around people.” Do you think people knew that they were on the merry-go-round with the Boston Strangler? I wonder if they let him play the games, like testing your strength with that big hammer to ring the bell, or the dart game. What if he lost the game and flipped out? What they should have done was taken him on a field trip to jail.

The moral of this story is that you never know who is among you out in this crazy world. You better think about that the next time you cuss out the lady at the drive thru, or skip someone in line at the movies. You might be bad, but crazy wins every time.

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Almost 200,000 People Will Die In a Hospital This Year…By Mistake

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An investigation by the Hearst Corporation says an estimated 200 thousand Americans will die this year from preventable medical errors and hospital infections. We are the most power nation in the world with so many medical advances in technology; we should not be losing 200 thousand people a year.

The report also says 20 states have no medical error reporting system in place, five have voluntary ones, and five more are developing reporting systems. Medical errors last year have killed more people than the Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina, the Swine Flu (LOL), Murders in the U.S., car accidents, forest fires, bear attacks, and McDonald’s put combined. The irony is that it is happening in the one place that is supposed to be able to save you.

So a doctor may say to you one day, “Oh I just killed your dad by accident, because we mixed his chart with another patient and performed open heart surgery on him, instead of checking his prostate. I also cut in too deep into his heart, because this was my first real operation, my bad.” They would never have to report it in almost have the states in the country? Trapper John M.D never killed nobody?

Trapper John M.D.

Trapper John M.D.

I know they call it the “medical practice,” but doctors need to practice on their own time before you come near me. Isn’t medical school like an 8-10 year program? They should be pros by then. The doctor never wants to hear he should be a resident for an extra year and practice. They sound like Allen Iverson when he was with the 76ers, “We talking about practice? Practice? Not a real game, but practice?” Yes, that is what we are talking about. Body mechanics are still learning on the job. You learn how to flip burgers on the job, you learn how to use the cash register on the job; you don’t start a medical procedure and pull out your school notes.

The problem is, this is not practice and there is no do-over  from the doctors who messes up because he was a “C” student in medical school. That is why their malpractice insurance is so high. You’ll never see that bundle of money with the big eyes on their commercial.

A lot of the time these doctors are overworked. They cannot be up for 16 hours straight and then try to cut someone’s heart out. Doctors are human too. The more tired you are, the more you are likely to mess up. Security guards can steal a few zzzz’s on the shift, not doctors. Plus, they are also double-booking operations like a barber trying to squeeze in an extra shape-up. They should make a law against that.

Sometimes I think that the doctors are just rushing through a procedure too.They may have a date or need to pick up their kids. Other times they may be drunk, or mad at their wife & girlfriend. (I watch “The Practice.”) Their personal issues sometimes certainly impact their performance. Next time you go to the doctor, make some small talk with him. Ask him how the family is doing, if he starts crying, GO HOME!

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It’s not always the doctor’s fault. Sometimes their nurse and assistants are incompetent. I blame the online courses for this issue. How can you go to school online for 2 weeks and become a nurse? Nail school is longer than that. Then you have assistants who don’t like to clean up behind people. What part of the game is that?

Dont’ get me wrong, I think that there are still some great doctors out there: Dr. Phil, Dr. Doolittle, Dr. J, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Dre, etc. (Kidding) There are great doctors out there saving lives and helping people, but you still have to look out for yourself too. I don’t want anyone to become paranoid, but you have to ask those questions and always assume eveything is in order.

When you go the hospital, you got to watch your back. Next time you go to have surgery,  a check up or whatever, you better make sure you bring somebody with a strong stomach to sit in the room with you to watch the doctors and nurses. Make sure you ask them what medicine they are giving you. 200 thousand deaths are ridiculous and I am sure you don’t want to be #200,001, becuase the doctor gave you a hysterectomy….and you’re a guy.

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Filed under Medical, Opinion, Politics

Swine Flu? What Ever Happened to the Bird Flu?

Who Wants Bacon Now?

Who Wants Bacon Now?

It’s that time of year again and everyone is trying to rush out and get their flu shots in the hopes of not getting the swine flu. Oh lord, not the swine flu, what I’zz gone do? Let me tell you all something, if you trippin about the swine flu, you are buggin. I have been eating pork my whole life and I aint never heard of nobody dying from a pig cold. The flu is a contagious respiratory illness caused by influenza viruses. It can cause mild to severe illness, and at times can lead to death.

Did you know that over 36,000 people die every year from the human (regular) flu and flu-like symptoms according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). So why is that not a pandemic? About 200-250 cases pop up in the U.S., then all of a sudden, we about to quarantine cities like we’re in the “I am Legend” movie.

Another thing, what ever happened to the bird flu that was suppose to kill us all? Popeyes and KFC stock went down $2,000,000 when that news came out. They even did a movie on NBC to scare the shit out of everybody. When it did not work, they said, “We need to come up with a new flu.” Now you got the swine flu and all of a sudden a vaccine will be available just in time to go on sale before the flu season. That’s like a person selling you tires right after their poke all your wheels with an ice pick. Then the vaccine won’t even work. How many people you know with the flu shot end up at home with the flu? If the scientist can make a swine flu vaccine in a few months, why don’t we have an AIDS vaccine? And you know how many side effects the swine flu vaccine will have: May cause drowsiness, headaches, bleeding from your anus, chapped lips, and pink eye.

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Well I am about to beat them to the punch. When the swine flu don’t work, the next animal in line is dogs. That’s right, the H1K9 flu is coming. Mark my words, people are gonna be dropping dead from the Scooby-flu. I am going to start working on a dog flu vaccine for 2010. I’ll get Snoop to endorse it for me. “Get you Vaccizzle before you Dizzle from the dog Flizzle Nizzle.” You know a lot of people don’t like needles, so we are going to have this vaccine in rolled into flu blunts and vaccine blow pops for kids.

Seriously though, this is what you need to do to help reduce your chances of getting the flu:

• Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.

• Wash your hands often with soap and water. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol-based hand rub.

• Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth. Germs spread this way.

• Try to avoid close contact with sick people.

• If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.)

• While sick, limit contact with others as much as possible to keep from infecting them.

• Follow public health advice regarding school closures, avoiding crowds and other measures to keep our distance from each other to lessen the spread of flu.

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